How to Avoid First Attraction? | Youth Guidance

Introduction

In the life of youth, the “first attraction” is very common. When you see a new person, their behavior, looks, or words often pull your heart. But the real question is – Is every attraction right? And how can we avoid it so that we don’t make wrong decisions or go on the wrong path?

The Bible teaches us –
"All things are lawful for me, but all things are not profitable." (1 Corinthians 6:12)

That’s why it is important that youth think wisely and learn to control their emotions. 

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1. Understand the Difference Between Attraction and Love

• Attraction often happens suddenly, but love is proven over time.
• Attraction mostly comes from outer appearance, while true love is based on character and commitment.
• Turning temporary feelings into permanent decisions can be dangerous.

👉 When your heart is drawn toward someone, ask yourself: “Is this just a momentary feeling, or is it truly a foundation for long-term commitment?”

2. Control Your Mind and Eyes

The Bible says –
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23)

• When you look uncontrollably, your heart also gets pulled in that direction.
• Digital distractions (social media reels, photos, movies) often increase youth attraction.
• Discipline your mind – avoid unnecessary exposure and keep your focus on the right things.

3. Learn to Build Boundaries

The practical way to avoid attraction is by setting Healthy Boundaries:

• Keep friendship with the opposite gender, but within limits.
• Too much late-night chatting, frequent calls, or unnecessary messages increase attraction.
• Instead of loneliness, choose group activities or church fellowships.

4. Remember Your Purpose

• When youth forget their purpose, attraction easily distracts them.
• Focus on your studies, career, and most importantly, God’s calling.
• Instead of wasting time, invest in skills and spiritual growth.
• Remember – you are not in this world just to be “attracted” to someone, but to be a blessing for others.

5. Prayer and Spiritual Support

• Whenever wrong or confusing attraction comes, immediately pray.
• Talk to a spiritual mentor, pastor, or trusted elder.
• Ask God for wisdom so that you make decisions based on His guidance, not your emotions.

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Conclusion

First attraction is natural, but it is important that youth handle it wisely. Don’t let attraction become your master; instead, learn to control it.

👉 Remember:
"Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)

Your focus should be on character, calling, and Christ. Only then will you be able to escape the trap of first attraction and live a meaningful life.